Dane

My brother Dane and I have always been close.  Growing up we would spend a lot of our time together.  Unlike a lot of siblings I know, Dane and I never really fought.  Sometimes we would bicker, but we always liked hanging out with each other.  Dane is almost four years older than me.  A lot of the time I’ve felt like I have just been tagging along and bothering him.  For example, when he would have his friends over and I’d walk through the room and say hello to everyone and Dane would get really mad at me.  I guess he thought that it was embarrassing having his little sister stop in the room when he was trying to hang out with his friends.  But the next day everything would be fine between us.  However, Dane and I never really talked about feelings or deeper things.  We can talk about our interests, just not our goals.  I guess this is true for our entire family; we don’t really express a lot of emotion towards one another.  Now that I’ve been off at college I’ve noticed that my brother has actually been missing me.  Sometimes he will text me out of the blue just to let me know what he is up to.  Dane and I have never really expressed a lot of feelings towards each other and we have never really given each other hugs or anything like that, so it’s kind of weird to hear from him and know that he is missing me.  Dane still lives at home with my mom and dad and I think sometimes he gets lonely and wishes he had me around to talk to.  I feel bad for my brother sometimes because all his friends are either continuing college or have already graduated.  Most of his high school friends are busy.  Dane works part time so he has a lot of free time (which he used to spend with me when I was home).  When I tell people my brother still lives at home with my parents and that he isn’t going to college, people tend to think he is pathetic.  I don’t think of my brother that way at all.  My brother is one of the people I admire the most because he is not afraid to be himself.  He is very passionate about writing and learning.  My mom has even told me that my brother is really jealous that I am in college because he wishes he would have gone to college after high school like all his friends did.  It’s hard to talk to my brother about his life plan though because he is really sensitive.  I’ve been getting a lot of attention about college from family, friends, and neighbors and I think Dane is kind of depressed about that.  I think Dane feels stuck.  When I come home I tell him all about what I’m doing in my college classes and he seems to really enjoy hearing about them.  I kind of want to encourage Dane to take more college classes, but I think it would make him mad at himself if I tried to encourage him.  I think my brother Dane is capable of so much!  I just want him to be happy and to utilize his talents.